doodle

When I was a kid, I forgot what I exactly wanted to be. All i remembered was play with friends without thinking of my future. Things are different when you grow up becoming a man. A man should carry his burden in his shoulder. A man should get things done by himself. A man should take no advantage from anything. It sucks.....

Being a man who grows up is terryfing. I've never expected to be adult. I wish I always could be a kid who carry my stroller wherever I go and whatever I want. As long as I ignore myself, I feel pathetic. I feel like a man who needs help. I feel like useles. Does anybody feel the same like me?

Thank god I have a blog.
I can share anything I want here.

It's hard to believe in someone.

I tried to accept my fate being a man. Why should I be a man if I always be commanded? Can I just take my own way without minding who you are?

Lately, I've figured what I really want in this life. I am 22 years old, and I don't think it's too late to reach my dream. As far as I can run, I'll try to do it whatever it takes. But, What if someone drag you down? should I just quit it?

Is money really empowering our life? I am young and reckless, I am still naive and I don't think about what I can be in the future because I am not kinda person.

What if I couldn't reach my passion? should I just give up and surrender to the mission?
Going work at 5 am then Coming home at 5 pm? regularly doing that shit everyday?
Come on. It sucks.

I've repeatedly seen some kind of guy. I saw him on train at 5 am with his shinny face, but his shinny face will turn to be dark at 5 pm.

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Relationship and Job are common issue, right?

In the last three days, I got two bad news in my life..
First, I got rejected by someone I love. It was such an embarrassing moment when I had a guts to tell her about what I felt. Datang dengan tiba-tiba masang muka sok manis dan berkata, "Can I know who your name is?" dan, bla.. bla... bla.. I felt bravely idiot guy. Parahnya, She dumped me and I felt broken, devastated and sudahlahhh...
That day, I couldn't do anything besides thinking about an idiotic thing that I've just done. First time in my life, I tried to say something to someone I barely don't know. Dan juga, itu momen pertama dimana gue ngerasa kagak goblokk dan bodoh. I thought my life could be over because of it.
I don't think that I am perfect. But, there are few women like me. I don't know how she (women) can feel that to me. Gue gak kepedean, but that's the fact. I was used to rejecting a message from women who liked me. Gue ngerasa cuman buang waktu kalo balesin pesan mereka, jadi gue pilih jalan santai, yakni read aja biar mereka gak message atau chat lagi. Gue gak tau kalo hal kayak gitu nyakitin perasaan mereka. Now, I felt that when she (the one I liked) rejected me.
My friend told me that I should be sadness, not madness. Why? katanya kesedihan bakal bikin jadi "wise" sedangkan madness cuman bikin lu rugi dan gak menerima keadaan. Well, I tried to be sadness.
After I opened my heart for a while, now I should cover it up. I don't think this is good time to have another woman. Apalagi, kerjaan yang gue dambakan sedikit melenceng dari sasaran.
My second bad news is a job. I was happy when I got an email to be a writer in a online media. It was amazing and I thought my life is doing well. But, shit happened. No, I don't get fired, but there is some kind of rule which is hard to accept.
Actually, love and job are common issue. Semua orang merasakan hal tersebut, tetapi di waktu dan cara yang berbeda. Sebagian bisa marah, namun sebagian bisa juga sedih. Tergantung bagaimana orang tersebut menyikapinya. Meskipun sulit buat dilupakan, those things should be a good experience.
Pelajaran yang gue dapet adalah tuhan bakal selalu ngasih cobaan. Semakin lu dewasa, persoalan yang lu dapet bakal semakin berat. Semakin lu cerdas, semakin rumit pula masalah yang lu bakal dapetin. Kalo masalah lu cuma ekonomi, semua orang ngerasain hal yang sama, tapi kalo masalah lu tentang kehidupan, belum tentu semua orang pernah ngerasain.

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