doodle

When I was a kid, I forgot what I exactly wanted to be. All i remembered was play with friends without thinking of my future. Things are different when you grow up becoming a man. A man should carry his burden in his shoulder. A man should get things done by himself. A man should take no advantage from anything. It sucks.....

Being a man who grows up is terryfing. I've never expected to be adult. I wish I always could be a kid who carry my stroller wherever I go and whatever I want. As long as I ignore myself, I feel pathetic. I feel like a man who needs help. I feel like useles. Does anybody feel the same like me?

Thank god I have a blog.
I can share anything I want here.

It's hard to believe in someone.

I tried to accept my fate being a man. Why should I be a man if I always be commanded? Can I just take my own way without minding who you are?

Lately, I've figured what I really want in this life. I am 22 years old, and I don't think it's too late to reach my dream. As far as I can run, I'll try to do it whatever it takes. But, What if someone drag you down? should I just quit it?

Is money really empowering our life? I am young and reckless, I am still naive and I don't think about what I can be in the future because I am not kinda person.

What if I couldn't reach my passion? should I just give up and surrender to the mission?
Going work at 5 am then Coming home at 5 pm? regularly doing that shit everyday?
Come on. It sucks.

I've repeatedly seen some kind of guy. I saw him on train at 5 am with his shinny face, but his shinny face will turn to be dark at 5 pm.

Read More

Relationship and Job are common issue, right?

In the last three days, I got two bad news in my life..
First, I got rejected by someone I love. It was such an embarrassing moment when I had a guts to tell her about what I felt. Datang dengan tiba-tiba masang muka sok manis dan berkata, "Can I know who your name is?" dan, bla.. bla... bla.. I felt bravely idiot guy. Parahnya, She dumped me and I felt broken, devastated and sudahlahhh...
That day, I couldn't do anything besides thinking about an idiotic thing that I've just done. First time in my life, I tried to say something to someone I barely don't know. Dan juga, itu momen pertama dimana gue ngerasa kagak goblokk dan bodoh. I thought my life could be over because of it.
I don't think that I am perfect. But, there are few women like me. I don't know how she (women) can feel that to me. Gue gak kepedean, but that's the fact. I was used to rejecting a message from women who liked me. Gue ngerasa cuman buang waktu kalo balesin pesan mereka, jadi gue pilih jalan santai, yakni read aja biar mereka gak message atau chat lagi. Gue gak tau kalo hal kayak gitu nyakitin perasaan mereka. Now, I felt that when she (the one I liked) rejected me.
My friend told me that I should be sadness, not madness. Why? katanya kesedihan bakal bikin jadi "wise" sedangkan madness cuman bikin lu rugi dan gak menerima keadaan. Well, I tried to be sadness.
After I opened my heart for a while, now I should cover it up. I don't think this is good time to have another woman. Apalagi, kerjaan yang gue dambakan sedikit melenceng dari sasaran.
My second bad news is a job. I was happy when I got an email to be a writer in a online media. It was amazing and I thought my life is doing well. But, shit happened. No, I don't get fired, but there is some kind of rule which is hard to accept.
Actually, love and job are common issue. Semua orang merasakan hal tersebut, tetapi di waktu dan cara yang berbeda. Sebagian bisa marah, namun sebagian bisa juga sedih. Tergantung bagaimana orang tersebut menyikapinya. Meskipun sulit buat dilupakan, those things should be a good experience.
Pelajaran yang gue dapet adalah tuhan bakal selalu ngasih cobaan. Semakin lu dewasa, persoalan yang lu dapet bakal semakin berat. Semakin lu cerdas, semakin rumit pula masalah yang lu bakal dapetin. Kalo masalah lu cuma ekonomi, semua orang ngerasain hal yang sama, tapi kalo masalah lu tentang kehidupan, belum tentu semua orang pernah ngerasain.

Read More

Things are different.

Things are different.
It couldn't be the same like we used to be.
It's crucial.
People can move, people can leave, people can lose, and people can find the new one.

Things are different.
I remembered what you said to me, to us.....
Frightening like a pussy cat and hidding at someone's armpit, come on....
You're better than that.

Feeling different? it's not because we are busy
It's because we don't care.
We don't give a shit..

Things are diferent.
One word that I want to yell at your face loudly "TAIIIII........"

Read More

Gabs Gabs Gabut

 

A day with nothing to do....

Spending a whole day by listening a radio and creating some stuffs
I rarely create a new one because of one reason.
The reason that I can't tell
Staring at my laptop at midnight, just staring.

Actually, I have two reason to go out of this shitty room but I couldn't do it.
Ketika ada dua kegiatan yang lu harus lakuin dalam satu waktu, what'cha gonna do?
I can't pick one of those so gue duduk lagi dan buka lagi laptop.
Ngapain buka laptop? tatap aja terus sampe mata memerah dengan tatapan nanar.

Finally, Gabs gabs gabut.....

Read More

Time isn't running out yet

Skripsi.... skripsi dan skripsi.
Everybody gets fucked up with the thing.
People need to fresh out and take a deep breath.
That's why I brought my friends to CFD in Senayan.

In the beginning month of April, I went to CFD Senayan, for the first time. I feel pathetic, but that was the fact. Ketika semua orang sibuk sama skripsi, gue lebih milih jalan-jalan selo ke Senayan. Bukannya karena gue pengen lari (which is not interested), melainkan gue mau menghindari satu kata benda yang sering gue ucapin diatas. Sedikiti memento, ketika orang udah bimbingan lebih dari 5 kali, gue masih stuck ketemu dosen cuman sekali. Udah gitu, sekali bimbingan langsung disuruh revisi, REVISI JUDUL. For god's sake, sekali ketemu langsung revisi judul hahahahhaha.

Oke, karena gue gak mau pusing, gue turutin aja. Gue turutin dengan cara kabur dari tanggung jawab dan cari kesenangan sendiri. Having fun is an alternative way to disract your feelin' bro. chill out. Oke cukup nostalgia worthless nya.

We had an appointment at Manggarai station. The truth is, gue mau dateng pagi sebelum jam 6 tapi apa daya karena temen gue yang lain tidak tahu cara menggunakan jam, jadi gue gak dapet momen pagi di CFD. lebay si emang, tapi gimana ya, it was a good thoughts to excuse your true reason. Janjian jam 6 di Manggarai stasiun, apa dayaku ketika mereka beralasan ada yang mau berak, ada yang mau mandi, ada yang belum bangun, ada juga yang gak ada kabar, kayak dia....(dia siapa?)

Karena temen gue yang pada gak bisa baca jam (mungkin masih make matahari buat liat arah waktu), gue juga jadi ikutan mager jalan pagi. Gue putusin buat nyari duit dulu. Nyari duit gue gampang, buka laptop, open link, make an article, *clinkk, dapet duit, gampang kan?

Time showed at 6.30 am and I decided to roll. Gue berangkat dari stasiun kebanggan orang Bekasi menuju ke tempat pertemuan. Sampe disana, si kampret belum pada dateng. Alhasil, gue nunggu lagi lumayan lama, 10 menit. Oke , mereka dateng layaknya boyband nyari job yang gak dapet-dapet. Ada yang masih ngantuk, ileran bahkan belum mandi.

Jam setengah 8 di Manggarai, buset..... orang mana yang mau lari udah jam setengah 8? orang gak lari.

Sampai di Sudirman jam 8 dan gue udah males lari. So, we went straight to the purpose. Emang bloon apa gak tau, gue dan yang lain jalan ke Senayan. Ada yang bilang, "deket kok, cuman nyebrang jembatan". Jembatan endasmu. Jalan lebih dari setengah jam buat sampe Senayan. Udah gitu, ada yang ngeluh laper, cape,#$#$#$###$#$#$#$. Emang makanannya menggoda iman, dari makanan abjad A-Z bisa dilihat disini. Mungkin, kalo main ABC lima dasar nama-nama makanan bisa kejawab semua saking banyaknya.

"entar aja makannya", sahut gue dari kejauhan 2 meter. Gue dan lainnya masuk ke Senayan, sayangnya stadion kebanggaan Indonesia lagi direnovasi jadi kita berhenti di dekat ibu-ibu muda lagi pada senam. "Goyangannya... eh Senamnya bagus banget", Januri berkata dengan polosnya kwkkwkwkw. Kalimat serius, untung si LEE MIN HOO pake topeng Januri, kalo kagak udah rame pasti pada minta foto, tanda tangan dan pastinya Kopi luwak.

Sumpah, 3 jam disana cuma duduk ngeliat Noke lagi break dance sama Januri joget *kalimat keduabiar lucu *padahalkagak *januriudahlucu.

Karena udah pada laper, kita keluar buat nyari makan. Pilihan gue tetep jatuh ke satu nama "KETOPRAK". Wherever you are, wherever you go, ketoprak is in my heart *chants. Januri sempet gak mau makan soalnya gak ada kimcil, eh Kimchi atau Bibimbap (bener gak ejaanya?). Akhirnya gue rekomendasiin makanan Indonesia, jadi dia pilih...... ketupat sayur *pilihanbijak. Masalah selanjutnya datang ketika Januri gak bisa makan pake sendok, jadi dia makan ketupat pake sumpit *multitalentlikepro.

Jam 10, waktunya CFD selesai dan jalanan di sekitar Senayan dibuka. oke, journey was over and we went home. perjalanan 30 menit di siang hari, kami tempuh dengan berjalan kaki. suara sumbang mengatakan, "arah pulang mah lebih cepet dari pada arah balik". Pernyataan tersebut kontras dengan fakta yang harus dijalani. mana Januri gak tahan panas lagi takut item.

Kami jalan pulang dengan lelah sambil meneriakan yel-yel "semangat, semangat". Di tengah perjalanan, ada kejadian bego, gila, sedeng, gak waras. Karena pembawaan Noke yang petakilan, dia kena prank dari orang gak jelas. sepanjang jalan, ada pembatas terbuat dari beton yang menutupi jalan dengan polosnya dia memegang pembatas tersebut dan gak sadar kalo ada "ludah" disitu. Iya, ludah dan reak yang berwwana hijau tosca yang indah. Sontak Januri ketawa ngakak dan Noke lari mengejar Januri beberapa kilo... detik.

Sumpah kejadian tolol itu, bikin ngakak sepanjang perjalanan dan muka mereka berdua bener-bener idiot. 

Kejar-kejaran kayak telenovela di siang bolong sambil diliatin orang. Can you imagine, jam 11 siang balik dari Senayan ke Sudirman pake setelan lari lengkap dengan baju dan sepatu running. FAKK!!

Hari itu kami sudahi dengan berpisah pulang. Menggunakan baju yang bau ketek, gue dan yang lainnya dengan pedenya masuk ke kereta dan .....

kami pulang..

Thank god, gue udah mengabadikan beberapa momen yang bagus buat di capture.
Enjoy the rest!!!

Gimana? bukan.... bukan fotonya.

Read More

My life is at stake

I have planned to go few places this year, but my plan is totally screwed.
Sebagai mahasiswa tingkat akhir, gue dihadapkan dengan yang namanya "skripsi". I think skripsi ain't hard if you know what to do.
Yappp, ngerjain skripsi itu emang gampang menurut gue. Bab1-5 gue bisa kerjain dalam waktu 1 bulan. The problem appears when you have to meet your lecturer. Setiap skripsi punya yang namanya dosen pembimbing teknik dan materi. Disitulah masalahnya, dosen itu sulit banget ditemuin bahkan sampe gue tulis blog ini, gue masih belum ketemu dosen pembimbing gue. Ketika orang lain sudah sibuk dengan "bla.... bla..... bla", gue masih selau.
Ketika mahasiswa lain udah bimbingan sampe 3 atau 4 kali, gue masih nunggu kepastian kapan dosen pembimbing gue punya waktu senggang.
Ketika mahasiswa lain udah sampai bab 2 atau 3, gue masih bingung judul gue layak apa enggak.
Ketika mahasiswa lain ribet ngomongin dospem, gue kesel bin gedek kapan ketemu tuh dosen.

The whole plan is messed up.
Nunggu jawaban dari dospem sama kayak nunggu ilham ketemu "cewe sate", sulit banget.
Semakin gue nunggu, semakin kepikiran *duaduanya.

Gausah panjang-panjang, dospem gue gak bakal baca ini blog.

Read More

To Make it Immortal

Yogyakarta .......................................... Check

Having a good time at Jungle Land .... Check

Pampering ourselves at Waterfall ....... Check

Doing crazy stuff together .................. Check

Making a band..................................... Check

6th mission just completed this week. On March 15th, 2017. We've got a studio photoshoot. 

The day that we've been waiting for.

The day that we've assigned ourselves in a piece of paper.

The day that we remember who we were and what we will be.

The day that we don't know whether we shoul be happy or sad.

The day that I say "TO MAKE IT IMMORTAL".

I don't want to say this as a gang like what Yuni boyfriend's talked.

I don't want to say this as a team because we are not.

But, 

I want to say this as a circle of friendship.

I hate to say this, but setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan.

Perpisahan untuk mengejar impian masing-masing.

Perpisahan untuk berkumpul lagi di suatu hari dan melakukan kegilaan yang sama.

Gue gak ngerti apa yang gue rasain ketika lagi Photoshoot.

Entah senang atau sedih.

Yang gue tau, foto itu cuma "denial" kalo setiap individu yang terlibat di dalamnya bakal terbang satu-persatu menuju ke dunia sebenarnya.

It is truly friendship.

Gue ketawa ngakak ada yang gosip tentang hubungan gue sama salah satu dari ke 4 orang ini.

Screw you, Gosip recehan yang gak jelas asal usulnya, capture sana sini, edit foto orang kayak perselingkuhan di telenovela. We are an adult, gosip recehan yang dibuat sama orang yang gak suka atau apalah. Gue juga gak peduli. I don't fuckin care.

One sentence " Grow up, your life is  funny that way dude"

Memoar:

Yogyakarta.

Satu hari luntang-lantung gak jelas di Yogyakarta, mampir ke setiap masjid yang ada, cuma numpang duduk. Jam 8 malem diusir secara halus sampe ngerasa kayak hopeless cuma buat menuju ke gunung kidul. Akhirnya, naik taksi yang harusnya bayar 80 ribu, eh kita kasih 120 ribu #thuglife

Bisa bisanya ngasih lebih padahal kita buat makan susah. Hahahahha.

Jungle Land.

Naik angkot yang maksudnya buat ngehemat malah mahal. Kena tipu sama supir angkot. Bukannya marah malah ketawa ngakak gara-gara digocek sama supir angkot.

Waterfall.

Jalan terjal gak ngalangin niat buat sampe tujuan. Apesnya, banyak preman kocak pinggir jalan yang minta duit receh. Bego' nya kita ngasih lagi.

Making a band.

Nyanyi lagu Cranbberies "Zombie", penyanyi nya biduan dangdut yang kalo ngomong medok bahasa Jawa.

Nyanyi lagu "Love yourself" salah chord, SEKIP...

Akhirnya!! gue bisa denger suara emas Januri. Sampe bisa bikin gue nangis. Nangis........ gara-gara ketawa ngakak suara kayak gitu mau jadi penyanyi. Plis januri, lu akting aja gak usah nyanyi.

Terakhir, gosippin biduan Bogor yang bikin Januri klepek-klepek.

Photoshoot kemaren bener-bener gilakk, pake tema old school 80's dengan Januri sebagai bintang utama. #udahbiasa #gantengsendiri #gakbisajelek.

Ngakak luar biasa. Tapi pas foto udah dicetak, baru ngerasa, "anjir, gue foto kayak gini kayak mau perpisahan aja". 

Feeling of pain comes at end.

The feeling that you really want to lose your closest one.

My bloodstream stopped then I barely talked.

Staring all of those photos dengan senyuman sedikit pake bibir nungging.

Bukit alesano "kemungkinan" atau gak mungkin bakal jadi our last trip selama kuliah.

Setelah itu, Januri bakal balik lagi ke dunia Modelling (gak mungkin) atau balik lagi sama Lisa (mungkin). wkwkwkkw.

Foto dihape gak akan bertahan lama.

That's why I uploaded it to memorize them.

That's why I uploade them to the world

That's why I want to make it Immortal.

ps: Januri lo emang ganteng, jadi gak usah baper kalo digilai banyak wanita. 

Karena lo adalah #cowokidamanwanita hahahaha

Read More